Verbal Excursions

This year was the first year that my son (who is now thirteen) would not be with me for Christmas day. This is, historically, the only holiday I have ever been good at celebrating. You might not always get a birthday party in this house, but, By Golly! Christmas is down right picturesque… so I was feeling a bit down that he wouldn’t be here on the actual day, and vowed to make our time together the weekend before an absolute Hallmark-card event.

I should know better by now than to have expectations for anything, right? Long story short, due to inclement weather and a series of crazy happenstance, the weekend before Christmas found me sans the traditional family ornaments (or any kind of holiday decoration, for that matter), with no tree, and flat broke. My plans to bake special gingerbread for our own made-from-scratch gingerbread house went awry… etc etc etc. But my son, being the wonderful person he is, rolled with it. He expressed that he would rather build our own tree than take another one from nature, and that, as long as we still built a gingerbread house, that would be cool.

So, we built this incredible art-deco tree out of my coat rack, and some garland we bought for three bucks.

Much love to my friend Matthew, who graciously contributed the use of the holiday ornaments which were a gift from his mother (several of which sported his awesome elementary school photos). And the three of us shared the best belly laugh of the year, when we attempted (and failed horribly) to decorate and assemble a store-bought gingerbread house. I don’t know how the hell anyone ever gets those walls to stick together – but we made a diligent four hour effort, before ending up with a house that looked like it had been stepped on by a giant. A giant who had also taken a bite out of the roof.

It was probably the best Christmas celebration I have ever had – and it was definitely a much-needed reminder not to take things too seriously.

Sometimes you’ve got to let everything go – purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free, your true creativity, your true self comes out. (Tina Turner)

Much has been swirling in the ether lately. I’ve been doing alot of thinking on this past year – what worked for me? What didn’t? Where did all my good intentions go? What happened to the ideas I had? The creative endeavors I planned to undertake, to nurse from infancy into reality?

For a year in which, in theory, I had all the time in the world – one of my biggest regrets is that I spent very little of it doing what I actually wanted to do. I spent alot of time spinning my wheels, wondering why I just couldn’t seem to set a spark to anything new in my life. But like a fire, you’ve got to rake the ashes to give your new fuel room to breathe. Even the most inspired ideas, relationships, and dreams need room to stir – cut off the circulation, and even the freshest will go stale.

For most of my life, I’ve carried around a ton of rubbish – literally and figuratively. I’ve done an amazing amount of purging this year, in many areas of my life… but this week the laser beam of my focus will be centered on The Last (and Greatest) Purge of 2009. Because I’ve decided that, in order to bring new (and better!) things into my life, I first need to create some space. When my time, brainpower, and resources are consumed by things that don’t matter to me, there is nothing left to devote to the things that do. If my mental and emotional space is cluttered with useless knickknacks and meaningless frippery, when inspiration comes knocking, there just isn’t room enough to invite the muse in for a drink. So, if I don’t need it – if I don’t desperately crave it – if it doesn’t bring me joy or bliss or laughter or pay the goddamn bills – then it goes!

I’ll be holding a private ceremony to incinerate some of the detritus – including a box of depressing old poetry I’ve been lugging around for years (much of it written between the ages of 12-22), a hundred letters in which I am dumped by old boyfriends, and all of my journals from what I’ll kindly refer to as “The Dark Ages”. I’ll also be making a list of The Ten Things I Want More Of In 2010, as well as Ten Things Which I Will No Longer Do In 2010 (stay tuned – these posts will be coming soon).

So, what have you been holding on to that you should let go of? What sundry items (or ideas, or themes) would you toss into the burn barrel? And what will you hope to cultivate in it’s place? I would love to hear your thoughts.

*muchlove*

This one.

I <3 Harmonik Water Bottles.

Hrmonik Bottles

Each and every item they sell is an individually created work of art – an amazing amount of love goes into the crafting of these water bottles. And I personally believe that water carried in a container made of love will not only taste better, but actually be better for you. If you’re more of a “facts” person than a beliefs person, try this one out – Americans consume more than 70 million single serving bottles of water per day – and 8 out of every 10 end up in landfills. That’s alot of waste to contend with – but the folks at Harmonik Bottles have designed their functional artwork in the hopes that it will encourage more earth-friendly and sustainable practices. Cuz no one said that consciousness couldn’t be stylin’!

This year was full of road trips for me… But the most fun I had was on a quick, turnaround trip in early November. Captain Amazing and I flew into Burbank to pick up my new car, and drive it back to Phoenix the same day. What should have been a commando mission turned into a slow mosey, full of adventure detours.

I have a theory, that if you ever want to really get to know someone, you should travel with them. The most carefree friend can turn into a control freak – the most lighthearted turn into a horror story – I have had both of those experiences previously, and this was (thankfully) neither. We jammed some tunes and sang out loud. We randomly stopped in unfamiliar neighborhoods. We met the nicest lady to ever grace a smoothie counter. We spotted a discarded playground slide in a dumpster neighboring the freeway, and then made a twenty-mile scavenger-hunt detour through construction traffic to see if we could fit it in the car (sadly, it was not destined to be). We made out in the back of a parking lot until the streetlights came on. We talked. Alot. We made a six hour trip last over twelve hours – we wasted some serious time… and neither of us cared.

This was our first joint traveling experience, and I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better one. What would have been an uneventful, somewhat boring drive on my own was turned into a surprisingly cool excursion… and I’m now looking forward to many more.

The topic for today is “a word or phrase that sums up your year”. Many of the words which initially came to mind surrounded turmoil, confusion, and conflict… but these words sounded really negative. And my year, though challenging and difficult in many ways, was really overall one of the most positive years of my life. Looking back one year from today, comparing where I am now with where I was, I can say with no creeping hints of doubt that I am in a much better place. Period. So I turned to the all-mighty google for some help. And I came up with this quote –

“Amidst the confusion of the times, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives.”
Thomas S. Monson

And this sums it up perfectly for me. Because despite the heartache, despite the tumult, despite all the disappointments and unfulfilled expectations, and the incredibly epic fail of what should have been the most awesome journey of my life – I find myself closing this year with the utmost gratitude in my heart, and the simple, quiet conviction that I am, indeed, exactly where I need to be. That everything that has passed was necessary – that it all occurred with the utmost precision, to place me right here, right now… and that the year to come, though sure to have it’s own set of challenges and disappointments, will be absolutely soaked with amazing.

Chakra 4 Cafe's Lucerne Swish

Chakra 4 Cafe’s Lucerne Swish definitely wins for my top tea of 2009. A handmade blend containing hibiscus flower, rose hips, orange peel, apricot, lemon peel, and marigold petals – it has a fresh and uplifting flavor, a natural sweetness, and zero caffeine. It’s tasty when brewed fresh, but I prefer to make it as a sun tea, and drink it chilled.

This is the ultimate relax-in-your-hammock-enjoying-the-sunshine tea. You can buy Lucerne Swish (and other fabulous teas and herbal concoctions) from the lovely folks at Charka 4 by clicking this link.

don’t be fooled
my friend
when your
opportunity
arrives

it won’t be
wrapped
in fancy paper

it might be
dressed
in a disguise

I moved here.

I moved here.