Verbal Excursions

Sometimes you’ve got to let everything go – purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free, your true creativity, your true self comes out. (Tina Turner)

Much has been swirling in the ether lately. I’ve been doing alot of thinking on this past year – what worked for me? What didn’t? Where did all my good intentions go? What happened to the ideas I had? The creative endeavors I planned to undertake, to nurse from infancy into reality?

For a year in which, in theory, I had all the time in the world – one of my biggest regrets is that I spent very little of it doing what I actually wanted to do. I spent alot of time spinning my wheels, wondering why I just couldn’t seem to set a spark to anything new in my life. But like a fire, you’ve got to rake the ashes to give your new fuel room to breathe. Even the most inspired ideas, relationships, and dreams need room to stir – cut off the circulation, and even the freshest will go stale.

For most of my life, I’ve carried around a ton of rubbish – literally and figuratively. I’ve done an amazing amount of purging this year, in many areas of my life… but this week the laser beam of my focus will be centered on The Last (and Greatest) Purge of 2009. Because I’ve decided that, in order to bring new (and better!) things into my life, I first need to create some space. When my time, brainpower, and resources are consumed by things that don’t matter to me, there is nothing left to devote to the things that do. If my mental and emotional space is cluttered with useless knickknacks and meaningless frippery, when inspiration comes knocking, there just isn’t room enough to invite the muse in for a drink. So, if I don’t need it – if I don’t desperately crave it – if it doesn’t bring me joy or bliss or laughter or pay the goddamn bills – then it goes!

I’ll be holding a private ceremony to incinerate some of the detritus – including a box of depressing old poetry I’ve been lugging around for years (much of it written between the ages of 12-22), a hundred letters in which I am dumped by old boyfriends, and all of my journals from what I’ll kindly refer to as “The Dark Ages”. I’ll also be making a list of The Ten Things I Want More Of In 2010, as well as Ten Things Which I Will No Longer Do In 2010 (stay tuned – these posts will be coming soon).

So, what have you been holding on to that you should let go of? What sundry items (or ideas, or themes) would you toss into the burn barrel? And what will you hope to cultivate in it’s place? I would love to hear your thoughts.

*muchlove*

The topic for today is “a word or phrase that sums up your year”. Many of the words which initially came to mind surrounded turmoil, confusion, and conflict… but these words sounded really negative. And my year, though challenging and difficult in many ways, was really overall one of the most positive years of my life. Looking back one year from today, comparing where I am now with where I was, I can say with no creeping hints of doubt that I am in a much better place. Period. So I turned to the all-mighty google for some help. And I came up with this quote –

“Amidst the confusion of the times, the conflicts of conscience, and the turmoil of daily living, an abiding faith becomes an anchor to our lives.”
Thomas S. Monson

And this sums it up perfectly for me. Because despite the heartache, despite the tumult, despite all the disappointments and unfulfilled expectations, and the incredibly epic fail of what should have been the most awesome journey of my life – I find myself closing this year with the utmost gratitude in my heart, and the simple, quiet conviction that I am, indeed, exactly where I need to be. That everything that has passed was necessary – that it all occurred with the utmost precision, to place me right here, right now… and that the year to come, though sure to have it’s own set of challenges and disappointments, will be absolutely soaked with amazing.

“There are few things more wonderful than knowing where you want to go and being on the path to getting there.”
- Earnie Larsen

If a country is governed with tolerance,
the people are comfortable and honest.
If a country is governed with repression,
the people are depressed and crafty.

When the will to power is in charge,
the higher the ideals, the lower the results.
Try to make people happy,
and you lay the groundwork for misery.
Try to make people moral,
and you lay the groundwork for vice.

Thus the Master is content
to serve as an example
and not to impose her will.
She is pointed, but doesn’t pierce.
Straightforward, but supple.
Radiant, but easy on the eyes.

-Tao Te Ching

“I get up every morning determined both to change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes, this makes planning the day difficult.” – E.B . White

Even after all this time
The Sun never says to the Earth
‘You owe me’
Look what happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky

- Hafiz